I don’t know about you, but I’m a feeler. I’ve learned that this can be a huge blessing in life, as I take in experiences and try to minister to others. I really try to take in the moments of life and be present, soaking in all it has to offer. This also comes into play when I minister to others. When people celebrate the joys of life, I love to encourage them and enjoy it alongside them. And when people grieve and struggle through life, I often sit with them in that grief, and want to take part of their load for them and help carry it. I thank God for creating me this way!
However, with every positive, there is also a negative that can occur if we aren’t careful. I can neglect myself because I’m pouring out too much to others or I often put too much stock in how I feel, and can allow my feelings to drive things they shouldn’t.
I remember on my wedding day – I felt like I was supposed to cry when my wife walked down the aisle. I had painted this fairytale picture in my mind. It seems like in every movie I’ve seen with weddings, the groom cries when the bride walks down. Or, I would often see this in other weddings I attended. The whole crowd would then melt as they saw everything unfold. So, when my wife walked down, I thought to myself….”Cry Matthew!” But I just couldn’t! I enjoyed the moment; I just didn’t cry. Was something wrong with me?! Haha, no. As cheesy as that may sound (I hope you laughed!), we can all relate in some way. We put pressure on things, when we should just be present and be.
I share that example to hopefully connect with some of you – that we often feel disappointed with how we feel (the irony), or, we place too much expectation on it. This is real life!
Feelings play a crucial part in being human. They aren’t good or bad, they just are. However, as we work through and experience them, we then must bring them face to face with Jesus. As we bring our emotions and feelings to truth, He meets us there and moves us along.
The holidays are a time of year where all of this naturally gets brought to the surface. We feel the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Perhaps a loved one has passed away, and Christmas just isn’t the same. Maybe you’re lonely and desiring to be loved by someone. Maybe your family situation is complex and broken or you just don’t like where your life is. Or, your life could be at a mountain top season and you just want Christmas to represent that perfectly and nothing to change. These are all experiences we have. We would all prefer that Christmas time be a season of perfect peace, unity, love and celebration. Cue the Hallmark movies!
I have another example for you: The day before Christmas Eve, I was driving home with my son after meeting with my Pastor and an older lady veered over to the right without looking and swiped my car. Thankfully, we pulled over with minimal damage and no one being hurt, but the older lady was in a frenzy and panic. I then spent over an hour waiting for her husband and the police to arrive, and get our insurance information settled while also trying to assure her that I wasn’t mad at her and everything was going to be fine. The next day, Christmas Eve, I went for a nice run outside. On my way home from running, I walked by a neighbors house who has dogs outside that I normally pet. I reached over to pet one of them and he bit me on the arm! Once again, it was minor haha. Then later that day, my son resisted a nap and didn’t fall asleep until 5pm, which threw off the whole evening. He and my wife were unable to go to Christmas Eve service, so I went by myself. I wish I could tell you I was just peachy and cheery after all of that, but I wasn’t! I was grumpy, tired and frustrated.
Looking back on this now, there is a little humor in the situation, but during that time, I was bummed and disappointed! I had a decision to make though, would I allow these negative experiences to determine the outcome of my entire Christmas break, or would I bring my disappointment and frustration towards truth. When I arrived to the Christmas Eve service by myself, I tried to simply focus on Jesus, that He came to give us hope beyond car accidents, dog bites and sleepless toddlers. There is more to life than these things! I felt all of these things and was not a happy camper, but then I shifted to the truth that doesn’t change.
Isaiah 40:7-8–
The grass withers, the flowers fade when the breath of the Lord blows on them; indeed, the people are grass. The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God remains forever.”
This doesn’t mean that what we feel and experience doesn’t matter. Rather, it means that there is more to our lives than these moments. God ministers to us in these moments and uses them for a greater purpose. And He gives us hope beyond these moments and seasons. That hope doesn’t change based on the time of year it is. It’s always there.
The lesson for me this week is this: Don’t ignore how I feel, but don’t let it determine everything else. Bring it to God and trust His work in my life. And remember that He is bigger than these moments. I hope this encouraged someone. If anything, writing about my week has helped me process it all and bring things into perspective.
Grace and Peace to you and enjoy the rest of 2024!
Matthew Weaver 
GREAT WORD!!!